Its been quite the summer so far. Living on my own being away from my home friends is a challenge. I miss the people here daily because I have such a great time with them and a good past to reflect on. We always have a good time together, even if we're hanging out and talking. This is because I get really good comfortable energy from these people. We all enjoy our presence so much that we don't want to leave, we want our times to continue together.
It sucks being away from your most favorite people on the planet, but I know I have to find more close friends. I have close friends, and i love them, but something seems to stop me from being 100 percent for my new friends. I can enjoy myself a to a certain point, but then something kicks in and I'm down for the count. I get quiet, I get reserved, and worst of all I get stuck in my head. Every time I'm back home I try to think of what I say and do and feel in the moment talking with friends. What I'm starting to realize is that I just don't feel stress.
I've overcome stress and anxiety before. It really just comes in waves. I just have to consciously make myself jump back into the moment. No more thinking. Just respond.
This is why I need improv. I need to get my skills back again. I need to feel comfortable with putting myself out there in a completely new place. I thought I'd be fully adjusted and ready for this new environment by the end of freshman year, but I feel like I still have learning to do. I also feel like I have lots of responsibilities now, and that doesn't help much.
I guess I want to find my passion. I want to find something that excites me and gets me out of bed, looking forward to the day ahead. I need positivity, security and safety before I can really open up. I forget how I did it in high school. I remember it being a really big change for me that started with improv and continued through my first relationship. I guess in the meantime I'll keep my head up and look forward to finding my place at college. Maybe I'll find someone who will make me happy soon. I just need to figure out a few things, such as what exactly I want from a relationship. Maybe I'll do see writing on my flight.
This is why I need improv. I need to get my skills back again. I need to feel comfortable with putting myself out there in a completely new place. I thought I'd be fully adjusted and ready for this new environment by the end of freshman year, but I feel like I still have learning to do. I also feel like I have lots of responsibilities now, and that doesn't help much.
I guess I want to find my passion. I want to find something that excites me and gets me out of bed, looking forward to the day ahead. I need positivity, security and safety before I can really open up. I forget how I did it in high school. I remember it being a really big change for me that started with improv and continued through my first relationship. I guess in the meantime I'll keep my head up and look forward to finding my place at college. Maybe I'll find someone who will make me happy soon. I just need to figure out a few things, such as what exactly I want from a relationship. Maybe I'll do see writing on my flight.
Oh yeah, my flight.
I can't believe I'm leaving for Florida in 4 hours. My cruise ship sets sail Monday, and I'll begin experiencing something not many other people have the opportunity to experience. I'm excited. I need to stay that way, because I'm going to be talking to and meeting a ton of people. Let's hope my memory can sustain this.
I can't believe I'm leaving for Florida in 4 hours. My cruise ship sets sail Monday, and I'll begin experiencing something not many other people have the opportunity to experience. I'm excited. I need to stay that way, because I'm going to be talking to and meeting a ton of people. Let's hope my memory can sustain this.
Oh man I smell pancakes. I'm definitely home right now. It reminds me of vacation weekends some time ago. I really want to ask for a week off before school starts up to say my big goodbyes to my friends.
Gah growing up is hard. I liked things more when everything was easy and change came slowly.
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